Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
