i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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