Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
