meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
