the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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