so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf