just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...