As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.