We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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