Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Taylor Swift is so right about you.

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  (773): Taylor Swift is so right about you. http://tfl.nu/etcx
  Replies (9) Good night (929) Bad night (1159)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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  (617): M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad. http://tfl.nu/r9d8
  Replies (4) Good night (3062) Bad night (666)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.

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  (402): I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents. http://tfl.nu/l0y8
  Replies (9) Good night (1001) Bad night (2122)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes

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  (301): I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes http://tfl.nu/yjwe
  Replies (32) Good night (5720) Bad night (1277)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"

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  (302): Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?" http://tfl.nu/v4rw
  Replies (27) Good night (6660) Bad night (2198)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.

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  (201): normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek. http://tfl.nu/tra5
  Replies (20) Good night (5670) Bad night (1225)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists

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  (720): I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists http://tfl.nu/iudi
  Replies (25) Good night (5833) Bad night (1074)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.

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  (360): corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me. http://tfl.nu/hdp7
  Replies (3) Good night (1070) Bad night (1410)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.

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  (406): Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues. http://tfl.nu/jvdq
  Replies (7) Good night (811) Bad night (1460)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere

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  (506): And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere http://tfl.nu/qfu5
  Replies (5) Good night (753) Bad night (1013)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car

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  (773): It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car http://tfl.nu/9u20
  Replies (4) Good night (493) Bad night (904)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing

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  (519): Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing http://tfl.nu/fucl
  Replies (4) Good night (580) Bad night (2146)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?

  (406): View more from Montana

  Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

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  (239): Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ? (406): Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/y05k
  Replies (6) Good night (1530) Bad night (490)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"

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  (248): I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring" http://tfl.nu/0ibn
  Replies (3) Good night (879) Bad night (376)
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  (585): View more from New York

  this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile

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  (585): this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile http://tfl.nu/57e7
  Replies (0) Good night (752) Bad night (335)

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