So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?