Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
send nudes
from the living room?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
