People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
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No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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