I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
