You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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