She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
