hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We are two peas in an std pod
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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