I want to make a zoo with you.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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