i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
