i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
