I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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