if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
