Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
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I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
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I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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