The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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