How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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