ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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