I want you more than these girls want KFC
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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