Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
