we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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