i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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