Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it's like heaven, but drunker
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
