New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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