he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
