Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
two words...techno handjob
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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