Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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