you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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