i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
