when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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