What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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