i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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