just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
