it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
