Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
