I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Oh god it's open bar.
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