And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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