He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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