Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
