If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
