Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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