New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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