At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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