I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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