that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
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I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
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Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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