Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
