sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
