I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
