Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I will be naked everywhere
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize