...so i touched it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
