Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
