god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
