smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
