How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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