My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"